No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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