Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
