Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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