no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
