It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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