Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
A+ Viking dick
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
