THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
