Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize