Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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