I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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