Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
