Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
