i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
