just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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