you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
