on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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