dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
