i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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