i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize