I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
