Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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