That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
