There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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