Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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