I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
