i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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