This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
