i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
