You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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