yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
