no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
