Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So apparently I’m into choking now
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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