i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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