the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
