Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
