Need sex. Gaining weight.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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