he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize