I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
