thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
