I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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