Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
nutella sex= disaster
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
