I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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