on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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