Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
