Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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