do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Randomize
