if only i could text you this smell
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
