She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
