What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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