we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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