dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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