so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
