My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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