i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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