you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
