yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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