listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
