I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
