she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
