I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
