I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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