Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
