1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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