The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
