god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
