Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
