So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
