I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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