Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
