i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
