You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
