have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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