i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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