standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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