so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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