oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
