i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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