fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
