maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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