I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
