Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
