At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
